
Can I please just hug him…

How I met your mother | 5.07 The Rough Patch
“Hello, Ted. If you’re watching this tape—and I knew you’d pick this one—it means you are now in possession of my porn. This can only mean two things: Either I’m dead, or I’m now in a committed relationship. If I’m dead, I want you to honor my memory by taking my body to the Hamptons and re-creating Weekend at Bernie’s. I wanna dance, I wanna have sex with a girl, and I wanna go fishing. If, on the other hand, I’m in a committed relationship, then as your best friend, I have only one request: Please, for the love of God, get me out of it!”
-Barney Stinson
“I can now understand Zidane. Materazzi already provoked me before the game, and also came on and insulted me after the game as well.”